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Juan URBINIA

Page history last edited by Christine Bauer-Ramazani 12 years, 3 months ago

Juan's Essays 

Please copy and paste your drafts in the spaces provided.

 

ESSAY QUESTION (copy here):

 

FIRST DRAFT

 

IEP 510/520 Core

Prof. Christine Bauer-Ramazani

Date:

 

JUAN GARCIA

IEP 510-IEP 520

PROFESSOR: CHRISTINE BAUER-RAMAZANI

DECEMBER 07, 2011

FIRST DRAFT  

 

 

            The article “Set in Our Ways: why Change is so Hard” (2011) posits that people change considerably their personalities at their different stages in life according to some research of personality development. Some biopsychologist such as Rainer Rieman, a psychologist from Bielefeld university-Germany, argues that people’s changes is related with the roles they acquire with the time, and this change is tied to the people’s frightening to make mistakes. Human beings are exposed to uncertainty and ambivalence in their life because new experiences in people can bring contradictory routines, chaos, and insecurity which means that people is set up to change in their different aspects of life anyway. In addition, Gerard Roth, a Psychologist from the University of Bremen-Germany, argues that people’s novelty is related to the brain and the competence in the human behavior. Therefore, Human beings tend to reduce their abilities to do new things because they are scare of falling or trying new experiences. Age again is the most important aspect to highlight in people’s personality.

 Some other investigations show that personality age is not the only aspect influencing the change in people’s behavior. Deborah Carr- Rutgers University argues that some unexpected situations in life can lead to develop some positive changes in people’s behavior for example, Widows, cancer diagnosed people, and survivors, but she does not take into account the age factor and how the age is also important in the personality development. In contrast, Psychologist William R-Univeristy of New Mexico and Peter Borkenau from Martin Luther King University posits that Change in people is minor but happens in aging people after they have set up their life. In other words, aging people are more willing to acknowledge a change after finishing their life plans. People in their late teens, early twenties, and in some other different stages in life change aspects in their personality because the human being is programmed to adapt to new stages and aspects in life according to human biological adaptability.

            In my opinion the most prominent influence is nature. Nature develops virtuous behavior in people like being more mature, making more wise decisions, and having the experience of life than nurture does not. People’s attitudes toward life change constantly at the different ages because their attitudes need to happen with the new responsibilities to confront. After the early twenties people’s desires willingness and ability to change declines but this happens because people’s biological internal clock cannot be stopped. In other words, nurture cannot happen in people, if people do not grow physically.

 

References

Set in our ways: why change is so hard (2011). Q: Skills for success 5. Reading and      writing: oxford University press.RUBRIC  

1. All parts of the essay question answered? 5 
2. Thesis statement / main idea stated at the beginning? 4 
3. Several supporting examples/reasons given?
4. Several in-text citations/references made to the article/author/research? 3 
 
5. Reference given in APA format? 4 

Noor's comments:

          1-You cover all parts of the essay question. That's why I gave you 5.

          2- Thesis statment is mentioned at the beginning but I couldnt find the aspects even though the main idea is mentioned there.

          3- The eassy qoestion is full of examples. :)

          4- There is one in-text citation at the begining of the essay but it has nothing to do with our book title, so I gave a 3.

          5- Reference is complete but you missed the author's name . :) 

 

SECOND DRAFT 

 

 

FIRST DRAFT

Name:

Course: IEP/510/520 Core

Prof. Christine Bauer-Ramazani

 

JUAN GARCIA

IEP 510-IEP 520

PROFESSOR: CHRISTINE BAUER-RAMAZANI

NOVEMBER 3, 2011

FIRST PERSUASIVE ESSAY DRAFT

 

 

 

PHOTOGRAPHY AS  WORK

 

           Susan Sontag said, “Today everything exists to end in a photograph” which means that we are immortalize in pictures. Would not you like to look great on those pictures? But even better, have you ever thought about how lucrative can be photography as work? Do you have a Facebook account? Twitter account?  Photography certainly is a profitable activity rather than a leisure activity, so the internet and the social networks are a market to place and offer photographic material. In other words, Photography should be considered work because photographer’s cost of equipment; Photography’s time and dedication, and the income from Photography.

 

In order to consider photography work, it is necessary to look at the cost of equipment. Photography must take into account if photographers take good photos because they can make a profit which is expensive by charging people money to cover photographer’s expenses. The school Portraits fully participate in the business because the students (Or tutors) should pay a sitting fee for the pictures taken in private setting. Additionally, the students’ year book fees in photography have to be paid by public schools. Moreover, photographers need to buy photographic streaming software for publishing. Camera person ought to charge customers for streamed photos and videos; furthermore, camera person should charge extra fees for printed photos. According to Oberrechet (2006) “How to start a Home-based Photography business,” An integral part of photography as a profitable job should be investing money in equipments.

 

In addition, photographers have to dedicate time to their visual arts in order to have it considered work. Photographers should charge for editing the picture because it takes time. For example Photographers editing requires time because adjusting brightness, contrast, and color is very demanding and certainly necessary for the photos. Besides, when photographers match the format to the desire resolution, it takes time and effort; likewise, camera man should charge for preparing and setting up for the photo-shoot. In their article, “High Resolution Moiré Photography,” Forno & Burch (1982) state that there are some important aspects to consider such as the camera, the environment, lighting that influence the image and determine the versatility of the technique. Researching for the customers’ specification for location and scene in the internet, in special stores, or wherever it is needed involves time and effort. Additionally, photographers ought to arrange the lighter, chairs, and sometimes the people for the photo-shoot.

 

Most importantly, photographers should receive an income from photography. Photographers ought to purchase a domain for storing and pricing the photo studios that are shared and published on photographer’s web page. To illustratephotographers can sell photo-shoot products and services such as portraits, galleries, and photojournalism from the web space. Furthermore, Photographers can sell other personal photographs from the web space like, panoramic, natural and wild life photography among others. On the other hand, Photographers must establish a network of business associates in order to obtain a better income from additional sales. Advertisers should place their works such as sports, workshop, and training supplies in the domain; additionally, Investors in photograph business such as restoring and enhancement services, supplies and equipment, and magazines can participate in the­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ earnings from relating photography and their business. Jen McCue (2011) states that since pro.photomerchant.net have taken over her business, It has been so profitable that it is hard to believe is true.

 

In conclusion, photography is a vital work activity nowadays. Photography should not be considered just as a leisure activity, but photography should be taken into account as a profitable business. Although photography’s cost of the equipment, time dedication, and Income are very important aspects to consider if you participate in this lucrative job. Do not forget that everybody can have access to a camera nowadays, but does everybody really take good pictures?

 

 

 

Reviewed by Anny:

1. You have many keywords in your last paragraphs. Your topic is about photogragph and work. I'd like to see you use "work", "business" and "network" to refer to your topic keywords.

2.Please try to use a little more controling idea in each sentence of your fourth paragraph, because I fail to see there's any controling idea in one example sentence.

3.Using a lot of examples is a good way to write your essay better, but please try to use other words or phrases not always "such as".

4.There are some grammatical mistakes in your fourth paragraph. So many "and", it leads to run-on sentences.

5.Check your capitalization of "photograph" is right or not. Sometimes it is just after a coma.

 

 

 

 

     

 

 

 References

 

Oberrecht, K. (2011). How to start a Home-based Photography Business. Home-based business series (6th ed.). Printed in the U.S.

 

Burch, J. M., & Forno, C. (1998). High Resolution Moire Photography. Optical Engineering. Vol. 21, pp. 602-614. Location: Publisher.

 

Shannon, R (2010). Engineering & laborator y notes. Mail manuscripts to Engineering & Laboratory Notes c/o Optics & Photonics News, OSA.          University of Arizona. U.S

 

Sontag, S. (2010). Susan Sontag Home page: Quotes. Retrieved from             http://www.susansontag.com/SusanSontag/books.shtml

 

McCue,Jen. (2011, November, 3).Amazing prices, excellent customer service by             Butternut Snapz Photography. Message posted to             http://pro.photomerchant.net/l/build-photography-website-US-            02?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=photographers%            20web&utm_campaign=US-SE-Website-           B&pm_src=web&pm_ad=Adwords_US-SE-Website-        B_photographer%20website_photographers%20web&pm_site=&pm_ad            gr=photographer%20website&gclid=CKy3nraJnKwCFcuP7QodFWitBg

 

 

 

SECOND DRAFT

Name:

Course: IEP/510/520 Core

Prof. Christine Bauer-Ramazani

 

FIRST DRAFT

Name:

Course: IEP/510/520 Core

Prof. Christine Bauer-Ramazani

Juan Garcia

 

JUAN GARCIA

IEP 510-IEP 520

PROFESSOR: CHRISTINE BAUER-RAMAZANI

OCTOBER 05, 2011

FIRST CONTRAST ESSAY DRAFT

 

LAS VEGAS VS BRECKENRIDGE

 

          Have you ever found yourself choosing between travel destinations? Have you ever considered indoor activities vs. outdoor activities? Do you prefer natural paradise rather than artificial? If so, there are two enterprising places to consider about for your next vacation in thew U.S.However, Breckenridge.CO is a better place to visit thanLas Vegas. NV In terms of city policiesaccommodation, and daily routine on vacation.

 

          One of the most important things to think about between Breckenridge and Las Vegas are the city policies. Breckenridge is very strict in terms of morality and it is not legal the body exposure nor any businesses related with naked bodies. In contrast, In Las Vegas body exposure is legal and female escorts are surrounding the city (Caron, C. 2008). However, flexibility is not the only one loose policy between Breckenridge and Las Vegas. Breckenridge does not allow people to overuse alcohol when customers are in its facilities, for example when people skies in the mountains or snowboard in winter, the alcohol is limited to the legal consumption; on the other hand, Las Vegas, which is named the “sin city,” allows customers to drink in its facilities all customers want at any time. (“Las Vegas city facts” 2011)

Accommodation is vital when choosing a vacation destination. Breckenridge has deals on hotels. For example, hotels include transportation facilities and outdoor activities for their guest such as, skiing, walking, riding, driving, flying kites, and ride the resort lifts. In the same way, Customers are able to take advantage from it facilities in Breckenridge (“Breckenridge, co” 2011); however, Las Vegas performs the all inclusive idea in their accommodation, so hotel, food, and entertainment are available for the guest; therefore, activities in the local area are limited just to the ones in the hotel. Because of the complacent hotels, customer found it effortlessness. 

 

          Daily routine on vacation addresses guest to choose their best tourist destination. Breckenridge has plenty activities in the day time such as skiing or hiking in the mountains; similarly, walk or ride bikes around town is a plausible activity in which the customers enjoy their day light to do activities outdoor(“Breckenridge, co” 2011). In contrast, Las Vegas has limited activities outside the hotels; therefore, casino activities such play the slots and play poker become the attraction number one in this place; likewise, staying in the buffets or restaurants without noticing that the day time is going in front of them; Breckenridge has complementary night activities such as relaxing in the spa or hot tubs after riding the city. Also, visiting the welcome center can be a very smart place to go in order to be addressed in town (“Breckenridge, co” 2011). However, Las Vegas just limit customers to get wild and party in the clubs, drink and play in the casinos, and gamble in persuasive black jack tables (“Las Vegas Casinos” 2011)

 

          On the whole, Breckenridge is the place to recommend for its convenience and exclusivity. In contrast to the city of sin (Las Vegas), Customers can consider their choices. Planning your vacations in advance would be the best idea. In other words, better rates and why not a seasonal pass could be the idea for a travel destination. Breckenridge is just another day in paradise.

 

REFERENCES 

Activities in Breckenridge, Colorado (2011) Retrieved from 

http://www.breckenridgecolorado.travel/  

Caron, Christina (2008). Nevada Brothels Hit Hard by Gas Prices – ABC News. Retrieved from http://abcnews.go.com/Business/PainAtThePump/story?id=5213878 

Holidays in Breckenridge, Colorado. USA. Retrieved from http://www.breckenridgecolorado.travel/planning/breckenridge-intlguests.htm 

Las Vegas City Facts (2011) Retrieved from 

http://www.lasvegas-how-to.com/lasvegas-facts.php  

Las Vegas Casinos  (2011) Retrieved from 

http://www.onlineblackjackodds.com/blackjack/las-vegas/ 

Lecco, Mike (2011). Las Vegas Destination. USA turism.com. Retrieved from http://www.usatourist.com/english/destinations/nevada/lasvegas/las-vegas-sex.html 

The official travel site (2011). Retrieved from http://www.vegas.com/traveltips/guide/international.html 

 

 

Name:Chris

Commention:

There has some mistake about punctuation, I think you need to corret them.

 

 

      

SECOND DRAFT

Name:

Course: IEP/510/520 Core

Prof. Christine Bauer-Ramazani

Juan Garcia

 

JUAN GARCIA

IEP 510-IEP 520

PROFESSOR: CHRISTINE BAUER-RAMAZANI

OCTOBER 11, 2011

SECOND CONTRAST ESSAY DRAFT

 

 

LAS VEGAS V.S BRECKENRIDGE

          Have you ever found yourself choosing between two travel destinations? Have you ever considered indoor activities versus outdoor activities? Do you prefer natural paradise rather than artificial paradise? If so, there are two amazing places to consider for a next vacation in the U.S: Breckenridge, CO and Las Vegas, NV. However, Breckenridge is a more active place to visit on vacation than Las Vegas in terms of city policies, accommodations, and daily routine.

          One of the most important differences regarding Breckenridge and Las Vegas is the city policies. Breckenridge is very strict in terms of morality and it is not legal to exposure the body, neither any business related with nudity. In contrast, Las Vegas nudity is legal in strip clubs, casinos, and some hotels; therefore, female escorts are around the city (Caron, c. 2008). However, morality is not the only difference between Breckenridge and Las Vegas. Breckenridge does not allow people to drink in excess alcohol when customers are in its facilities. For example, when people ski in the mountains or drive snowmobiles in winter, alcohol is limited to three ounces or none in the drinks; on the other hand, Las Vegas, which is named the “sin city,” allows customers to drink in its facilities all they want at any time. (“Las Vegas City Facts”.2011)

            Accommodation counters a vacation destination between Breckenridge and Las Vegas. Breckenridge has deals on hotels. For example, hotels include transportation and outdoor activities for their use, such as skiing, walking, and flying kikes (“Activities in Breckenridge, CO”. 2011); instead, Las Vegas encourages the all-inclusive idea in its housing, and so hotel, food, and entertainment are available for the guest in one price. Las Vegas finds activities in the local area limited just to the ones from the hotel (“Las Vegas Casinos”. 2011), whereas Breckenridge has activities indoor the hotel and outdoor the hotel like driving snow mobiles, flying kites, and take the resort lifts (“Activities in Breckenridge, CO”. 2011). 

          Visitors to Breckenridge and Las Vegas differ in their Daily routines. Breckenridge has plenty of activities in the day time, such as skiing or hiking in the mountains. In contrast, Las Vegas has limited activities outside the hotels. Breckenridge walks, rides or bikes paths are plausible activities in which the customers enjoy their day light outdoor activities (“Activities in Breckenridge, CO”. 2011). On the other hand, casino activities such playing the slot and playing poker become the number one attraction in Las Vegas; likewise, vacationers can be standing at the buffets or at the restaurants without noticing that the day is passing in Las Vegas. On the other hand, Breckenridge has additional night activities, such as relaxing in the spa or hot tubs after a productive day in town. Also, Visitors should visit the welcome center. Visitors can be introduced to some other activities in the surrounding area (“Activities in Breckenridge, CO”. 2011). Rather, Las Vegas opposites customers to drink and play in the casinos, and gamble at black jack tables (“Las Vegas Casinos”. 2011).

          On the whole, Breckenridge is a more animate place to visit than Las Vegas in terms of city policies, accommodation, and daily routine. Breckenridge is the place to recommend for its convenience and well known prestige as ski resort. In contrast, to the city of sin (Las Vegas) customers can consider their choices. Planning vacations in advance would be the best idea. In other words, better rates or a seasonal pass could be the idea for a travel destination. Breckenridge is another day in paradise.

 

 

 

 

 

REFERENCES

Activities in Breckenridge, Colorado (2011). Retrieved from            http://www.breckenridgecolorado.travel/

Caron, Christina (2008). Nevada Brothels Hit Hard by Gas Prices – ABC News. Retrieved from http://abcnews.go.com/Business/PainAtThePump/story?id=5213878

Holidays in Breckenridge, Colorado. USA. Retrieved from http://www.breckenridgecolorado.travel/planning/breckenridge-intlguests.htm

Las Vegas Casinos (2011). Retrieved from 

http://www.onlineblackjackodds.com/blackjack/las-vegas/

Las Vegas City Facts (2011). Retrieved from

http://www.lasvegas-how-to.com/lasvegas-facts.php

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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